Messaging is (Almost) Everything

You work in manufacturing. Or medical technology. Or law. Or accounting. Or high tech / computer software in Silicon Valley. Or advertising. Or banking. Or politics. Or the non profit world. Whichever it is, your messaging is an essential part of your business. Messaging enables you to speak to customers' needs. Messaging enables you to draw business collaborators and partners. Messaging enables you to attract, keep and cultivate the best employees who, in turn, enable you to be a winning business or organization. But what constitutes great messaging?

You understand the facts of your business- the nuts and bolts, what you offer and what makes it run. But are you an expert when it comes to communicating in a way that wins people over to you and your product- regardless of the specifics of your product? As well as you are doing now, imagine you and your business attached to a completely winning, unstoppable message?

Ever meet someone, in a store, a cafe, on the sidewalk, in a park, at a party, and say “What a great guy/gal? They're fun to be around, and they make me feel lighter and just better about everything being around them.” Is it always because they have technical expertise or valuable products or investible capital? No, often none of the above. It's because they just relate well in human terms. They make all things seem possible, they put the world in perspective and they are entertaining. And that usually involves the use of humor. You see, humor brings together intelligence with surprise and a defiant sense of optimism- all very attractive traits to humans.

You have to create marketing and advertising materials. You have to do a lot of product copy writing, whether it's for the website description, the paper & ink catalog or the physical label on the product. Look at the companies that have integrated humor, or at least personality- into their business plan: Vitamin Water, Dollar Shave Club, Trader Joe's, Groupon, State Farm- the list goes on and on. Think of how the simple addition of a little bit of levity, a self-effacing comment, a surprisingly “honest” product description makes a company seem more human, more trustworthy, more caring for you, the potential or actual customer.

Using humor in copy writing and marketing makes a company seem a lot less desperate for your money and a lot more confident and principled. Now there's a big word- principles!

Just as your external messaging to your customer base can be radically improved by incorporating a lighter, more human touch – humor- so can your internal messaging- be it company speeches, industry-wide presentations, the entertainment at social gatherings, in-house newsletter, etc- be drastically improved to noticeable affect by using some well-placed levity.

Just as the layperson out on the street would be penny wise and pound foolish to try to build their own medical device or program their own software application, you need to utilize the strongest, most experienced and specialized messaging specialists, in order to harness the power of humor and entertaining language. Top professionals wield a laser-like way with words and imagery, and are able to have a crowd feeling warm with recognition one moment, lightly amused the next, and falling down laughing in hysterics after that. Every dollar that goes toward charismatic, winning messaging- whether it's in-house or for external consumption- comes back to you many times over in increased success- be it good word-of-mouth, higher quality product or bottom line revenues.

When speaking to a professional messaging specialist, especially those with an emphasis on humor, always ask to see samples of written work, for a variety of past clients. Many can claim to offer such a level of professional humor writing, to understand comedy, to have have created superior messaging products which have yielded outstanding results, but a precious few can show you the actual proof you can hold in your hand. And the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. Make sure your pudding is the sweetest- and funniest- it can be.

The Funniest Holiday Movie Ever

Here at Funny Biz Writers we enjoy comedy as much as the next person (maybe even more!) And when it comes to hilarious Holiday-related movies, Elf starring Will Ferrell pretty much tops our list!

Whether you're an elf or a giant or just a regular sized human, whenever you have a private or business event and need to make a fantastic impression, why not hire professional, proven comedy writers and comedic speech writers to custom create you a funny speech, presentation or roast that will knock your audience out of their seats? Ourt favorite Holiday movie might be Elf but if you hire Funny Biz Speech Writers, we promise, you will never come up short!

Now enjoy these hilarious movie clips and have a great Holiday!

Holidays are a Time for Friends, Family & Funny

The Holidays are an important time, but that doesn't mean that they have to be a completely SERIOUS time! Make everyone feel happier and better by incorporating some humor into your your holiday party, gathering or celebration. 

A customized year-end speech, going over the ins & outs and particulars of the last year is good, but even better is incorporating cutting-edge humor into the mix, in the form of hilarious punchlines relating to the content. Your friends, family, associates, employees or customers will love this kind of speech and will love you for using it!

You can also hire someone to custom create a personalized comedic novelty video featuring the most famous "celebrities" roasting members of your audience or just the particulars of your workplace or organization. 

Funny Biz Speech Writers specializes in both custom, personalized speech and roast writing, and in creating and producing custom, comedic novelty videos. We are the experts and have done 100's of such products for ecstatically happy clients from New Zealand to Toronto and Seattle. 

So this Holiday season, put some extra laughs into your stocking, add some real punch to the punch and trade in your gifts for guffaws. Everybody loves to laugh, even those people who don't know it yet! 

This Cool Cat Testifies as to Funny Biz Writers' Speechwriting Prowess (Meowess?)

We've had some interesting clients, and the one in the video below is no exception! This cool cat had a great time "roasting" the dog- thankfully figuratively, not literally- with a fantastic speech we wrote and that he translated into Meow. 

If we can write a great, personalized funny speech for a funny feline honoring his canine companion, imagine what we can do for you!

Wife Delivers Scorching BDay Roast Speech to Husband

One of our clients is this Arizona woman, who hired us to write an hilarious personalized roast speech and delivered it at the surprise birthday party of her husband. The crows erupted at almost every single joke. The atmosphere in the room was clearly electric. She had a great time getting to honor her husband in such a fun, personalized and irreverent way. Their friends were falling over and her husband had a truly unforgettable birthday, filled with the love, admiration and good-spirited humor of his friends and family.

Hire Funny Biz Speech Writers to write a similarly effective personalized speech at your next event, whether it be a private event or for a corporate or business purpose. We love making you the hilarious, spotlight-grabbing star, and your audience will love it and will never forget the surprisingly entertaining event.

And we always write to YOUR needs and desires, whatever the sensibility, style and comfort zone of your audience. From Disney clean to HBO uncensored, we love surprising your audience with something genuinely fresh, funny and clever and all about YOUR HONOREE and his or her life.

Jokes Per Minute. The Science of Speech-giving.

We here at Funny Biz Writers want to make your life easy. No, scratch that. We don't want to make your life easy, we want to make it fantastic. And the way that we will do that is by writing you a tight, killer, interesting, appropriate and very FUNNY speech, presentation or roast. Imagine yourself up on stage with a custom written, carefully crafted and personalized funny speech or roast, all about your various co-workers, associates, industry peers, customers, friends or family members. Now imagine sharp, unexpected laugh-out-loud jokes punctuating the factual setups, the kinds of punchlines you'd hear on HBO or Comedy Central. This is what can happen, what will happen, when you hire Funny Biz Writers and let us do the comedic driving, so to speak. We'll make you a deal- we research and custom-write the hilarious speech or roast and then you deliver it, soaking in the laughter and applause while simultaneously accepting a job promotion at work. It's a tough gig, but someone's gotta' do it!     

"Serious, serious, oh our work is so terribly serious!"

If you think that your line of work or business is too "serious" or "straight-laced" to use a comedic writing service, boy have we got some news for you! It is often the more serious and highly technical fields, the ones whose capabilities and results must be impeccable, that use well-placed humor to great effect. Here at Funny Biz Writers we have had quite a few top professionals in the medical field as clients. Perhaps they recognize the need to tickle the funny bone. Perhaps they know that laughter is the best medicine. Perhaps they understand the limitation of complex carboethylchloride and lower inside femoral tendons when it comes to keeping an audience stimulated and enjoying themselves. Even other doctors love some mirth and frivolity mixed in with their medical business!!

A recent client of ours is one of the top OMFS's in the country. What's an OMFS? Clear any kids away from the area before we reveal because the acronym's full of really dirty swear words. Okay, not really. It stands for Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon. These guys do surgery on and otherwise take care of the head, face and mouth region. Our client was leading a roast, presentation and retrospective all in honor of an esteemed veteran OMFS who was a med school professor of many of those in attendance and a real mentor for many in the field.

In front of hundreds of esteemed head and face doctors our client wanted to deliver a this-is-your-life roast speech and punctuate it with hilarious visual cues in a PowerPoint presentation- in the style of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update or almost any late night TV comedy show.   He also wanted to add actual video segments of political celebrities "speaking to" the grand doctor of the hour and cutting him down to size with hilarious one-liners relevant to his personality and life's achievements.

​Funny Biz Writers not only created a fantastic 100% customized, personalized roast speech, a "this is your life" full of both real historic landmarks and edgy, intelligent but still PG-13 clean jokes, but we also created custom novelty "moving lips" videos, like those seen on Conan's late night show, in which our professional voice impersonators had Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama saying some very funny- and specifically appropriate things about the good doctor. This in addition to the manipulated graphics where Funny Biz Writers' expert graphic artists took various photos of real people, random people and celebrities and created very funny visual punchlines to accompany the roast speech.

Have you ever seen a room full of head, face and mouth doctors, bent over, nearly coughing up a lung, their own mouths wide open from uproarious hysterical laughter? It almost makes you want to call in another specialist to make sure these guys are okay.

If your medical office or hospital or association of specialists or convention of practitioners is gathering for a group event- whether it's as light as the Christmas party or as heavy as a symposium to cure a serious disease- make the entire proceedings more effective by using professional, proven funny speech writers who will custom create a funny roast speech or funny speech of any sort, and will also create novelty moving lips videos with the celebrities of your choice, as well as funny manipulated graphic slides, telling a punchline with a visual.

Ask to see some Funny Biz Writers' work, we're confident you'll see that our product more than backs up everything we say about our roasts, funny speeches, funny presentations, novelty funny videos and so forth. We would never deign to try to do our own surgery or complex medical procedures, just as smart doctors have come to us for outstanding funny speech writing and comedy / humor for meetings, parties, conventions, or any sort of event.

Doctors usually have people saying "ahhh." We get them saying "ha ha ha."                       

Sometimes a Speech can be Inspirational AND Funny!

"The surest way to a person's soul is through their funny bone." You know who said that? I did! Just now. A great and serious inspirational speech can actually be not very serious at all. Yet somehow the deep importance of the message is amplified and made more powerful by use of humor and the humor is made stronger by its juxtaposition next to deadly serious content and issues of great importance. For an offbeat example of this, look at the very funny but very effective and heartfelt speech by the character Bluto (John Belushi) in the classic film 'Animal House.' Now you may not be Bluto and you may not live in an animal house or hang out with animals, but next time you need to speak at an important event you can hire a proven comedy speech writer and deliver a funny (yet serious) speech that make your audience fall off their chairs (unless their already sitting on the floor. In which case they may just roll around) Enjoy this clip of one of the most powerful and funny speeches in movie history!

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A Classic Funny (Duo) Wedding Speech from one of our Favorite Movies!

We write real funny wedding speeches but we couldn't resist posting this fictional engagement wedding speech, one of the funniest in history, found in the hilarious classic comedy 'Bridesmaids'. This scene perfectly captures the brilliant comedy that comes out of real life situations, with Kristen Wiig's and Rose Byrne's characters competing to be the "real" maid of honor, trying to outdo each other as the bride's true best friend. You can't count on such hilarious happenings to break out at your next wedding or event, but you can hire a great professional comedy speech writer to create scripted humor just as funny so that your audience has the time of their life. Enjoy the clip!

Lawyers Love Us! (And so will you)

Here at Funny Biz Speechwriters we love our attorney clients! We've been lucky to have many lawyers as writing clients, and who doesn't love a lawyer?! Okay, well OUR lawyers have been charming, straightforward, honest and easy to work with (except for that ONE guy) and we've been thrilled to have the opportunity to make lawyers even more charming, human and FUNNY! Lawyers are trained in the use of language and often they are good talkers and good arguers. They can be persuasive and often they are good performers. But a person doesn't graduate from law school without the logical ability to deduce that even the best lawyer probably needs the best comedy writer, or more specifically comedic speech writer, in order to be as funny as he or she is adept at the law. That''s where we come in and Funny Biz Speech Writers has written funny speeches, roasts, jokes and comedic scripts for numerous attorneys from San Francisco to Washington DC, Chicago to Miami.

One lawyer client we had had to roast several renowned San Francisco movers and shakers who belonged to the same elite professional/fraternal membership club. His roast speech had a bit of a cigar smoke-filled, locker room feel as the atmosphere in that club could lean toward the "salty" and "ribald." As highly experienced joke writers, we were able to write some cutting, hard-hitting jokes that had sting but didn't completely cross the line.

Another attorney client was a veteran lawyer in the Carolinas, having to deliver a funny "this is your life" speech for another lawyer, a local distinguished leading light in her industry. Funny Biz speechwriters wrote her a quite respectable, more refined and polite but still hilarious this-is-your-life speech about the senior lawyer. Our client was so impressed with how it went that she came to Funny Biz Speech Writers months later and also referred a relative to us to write a speech for him.

And yet another, more recent attorney client is one of the top business litigation attorneys in Washington DC and she had to deliver a highly logical yet also comical and entertaining mock trial case about one of the central arguments in the Greek play Lysistrata. One of the judges on the mock trial bench was none other than a sitting Justice on the US Supreme Court (and there's only of 9 of 'em!). It was fun for us Funny Biz Writers reading and analyzing the Greek play and coming up with very sharp and funny (and astute) comments, arguments and jokes our client could use for her mock trial case. We learned a bit of ancient Greek literature and she got the high-level professional comedy writing that clients have come to expect with Funny Biz Speechwriters. And, of course, she won the trial. Justice may be blind, and the scales may tip both ways, but in the end, funny always wins!

Custom created novelty comedy videos will BLOW AWAY your event!

Here at Funny Biz Writers, we don't only write fantastic funny speeches, roasts, presentations and comedic scripts. We are ace comedy writers but we also do more than joke writing and funny speech writing. We custom create, start to finish, funny novelty video products. One of our most popular and easily usable and effective types of novelty video products is the "moving lips" celebrity video, as seen on Conan O'Brien's show.

Here's how it works: the client picks a celebrity or celebrities and tells us the event particulars, objective of the comedy, the audience members involved, the type and topic of jokes desired and so forth. We write an hilarious script of jokes to be spoken by these celebrities. The clients looks at the script draft and, after any desired revisions by us, okays the final draft of the joke script for go ahead. We get a funny still photo of each of said celebrities and then videotape our own top-shelf celebrity voice impersonators performing the script jokes in a an amazingly realistic simulation of each celebrity.

We have numerous professional Hollywood voice actors who can do fantastic, lifelike renditions of any of dozens of celebrities that you, our client, may want. Our video editing team then uses editing tricks to cut and paste our impersonator's lips over the celebrity's lips in the video, so that when the celebrity "speaks" the hilarious jokes, the lips move appropriately and effect is just ridiculously silly, comedic and disarming. People love it, everyone laughs hysterically and the effect is irresistibly fun and effective.

Here is an example of some recent novelty moving lips videos we created for a funny speech / roast client. We have condensed a few previously separate video items and combined them into a very short sampler. All of these celebrity lines were spoken to help our client roast a very prominent and accomplished doctor in Florida. It was all done in a spirit of honoring and poking fun at this eminent and respected medical expert in our client's same field.

Some of the political celebrities roasting this doctor/medical professor were Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and Donald Trump. Funny Biz Speech Writers can also offer you many NON-political celebrities, of course, such as Robert DeNiro, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Stewart, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Owen Wilson, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Rodney Dangerfield, Chris Rock, Robin Williams, Jeff Goldblum, Charlie Rose, Ted Koppel, Barbara Walters, Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Cosell, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Anthony Hopkins (as Hannibal Lecter), Sean Connery, Ozzy Osbourne, Snoop Dogg, Lucille Ball, Joan Rivers, Sarah Silverman, Tom Brokaw, Keanu Reeves and many others. Other political celebrity voices we offer are George W Bush, George Bush Sr, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Bernie Sanders, Jesse Jackson, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Ben Carson and many others- just ask!

Okay, we'll shut up now. Enjoy this brief video sample!

Real Roast Jokes, PT. I

Here at Funny Biz Writers, writing roasts and funny speeches is our bread and butter. Whether it's a speech for a birthday, wedding, anniversary, bar mitzvah or a work-related event like a meeting, conference, convention or awards ceremony, we constantly custom write jokes to our clients' specifications. Instead of just telling you about what we do, though, we thought we'd show you. So here is a short excerpt from one of our client roasts, this one for a wife roasting her husband on his birthday...

Tom knows nothing about pop culture. Absolutely nothing. He thinks One Direction is a traffic sign and True Blood is an iron supplement. 

He thinks he's a great cook but he's not. He once looked up the recipe for ice cubes. He thinks poaching an egg means shooting it while on safari. Tom was a serious hockey player in high school. He has the face to be a goalie. He was once timed to be the fastest skater, even beating various Boston Bruins. At the time he was skating down a waterfall. 

Tom is still pretty strong, recently he beat some college kids in arm wrestling. To be fair, those kids were on the Math Team. Tom leans conservative; he gets his news from The Drudge Report online. That's one step above getting your news from bumper stickers. 

Tom's favorite movie is Good Will Hunting and he can really relate to the title character- not because he's a misunderstood genius, but cause he's good at cleaning floors. Tom enjoys a cocktail on occasion- his favorite is a martini made with Grey Goose. That's his favorite vodka but he still doesn't understand how they get the goose in the bottle. 

Tom loves making boats, and he's built several. One customer complained that their boat filled up with water, so Tom charged him for a swimming pool. Tom's latest wacky hobby is roasting coffee. He roasts it strong and gives it to all our friends. He's not being generous, he just wants them to stay awake for his stories.

Real Roast Jokes, PT. II

                                                       

As per our previous post, here's some more actual samples of the customized funny speech and roast writing that we do for our clients, for all occasions, whether it be a birthday roast, wedding speech, bar mitzvah speech, or a roast/speech for any business, corporate or public event or occasion. Anyway, check out this roast sample courtesy of us here at Funny Biz Writers....


Louie's been talking for a long time about getting a pool done in his backyard. He doesn't want to actually swim in it- he just wants to fill it with money and jump in like Scrooge McDuck. But seriously, if Louie puts in a pool, he'll get subsidy funding... from Save The Wales. They've determined that the water is his natural habitat.

But seriously, I think a swimming pool would be a great thing for Louie. First of all, he could bet on his grandchildren when they swim laps. Second, when one of his “business associates” crosses him, they could accidentally and mysteriously drown. And third, when the cops finally come for Louie, he could float on a raft in the middle and claim its “offshore betting.” But Louie, just in case you do go ahead with the pool, I've already gotten you a couple of pool-warming presents. A life preserver made of lead. And suntan lotion that attracts bees.

It doesn't get much bigger than the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES

Very recently Funny Biz Writers got hired to write jokes for a current US presidential candidate. Not just any candidate, but one of the top polling candidates in the race. We were psyched to get the call. Okay, actually it was an email, but you get the idea. The candidate was about to appear on a major TV talk show and the political consulting company felt that this person should have some funny yet appropriate jokes in their back pocket for the appearance. 

Funny Biz Writers was perhaps just a teeny, tiny bit nervous, only because this was the first time we had written for someone who could conceivably be the PRESIDENT of the awesomest, most happening and freedomy nation on Earth. But we crunched the info, did our research and due diligence, put on our thinking caps (and socks, we like to keep the electrical stimulation coming from both ends) and we cranked out some great political and other general jokes- the consultant was very happy. He told us multiple times "Great jokes, guys! Very funny!" And then he disappeared into a rocket powered helicopter that took him to a secret presidential candidate lair somewhere under the ocean.  

The point is, if we can write appropriate, smart, original and funny jokes for a person vying for the most serious, high-pressure job on Earth, we can write great jokes for your situation. And whatever your situation, we promise you- using strategic humor in a speech, presentation, script or roast- or a custom novelty video- is the winningest idea you could ever have. Is winningest a real word? Yes it is, according to Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump.

Anyhow, even if this candidate doesn't win, Funny Biz Writers was happy to be able to inject some sharp humor into a political process that is so often mean, contentious and repetitive. And if this candidate DOES win, we're pretty sure we'll never have to pay another parking ticket again. 

Making Politics FUN... and FUNNY! 6/14/2016 0 Comments Recently, Funny Biz Writers custom wrote a political roast speech for a major political operative in a Southern state. In the event, held at a top, big city hotel, he and others roasted the ex-mayor, the ex-governor and the former Ambassador to the UN, among others. The crowd loved it and they turned politics- often something divisive and overly serious- into something fun, unifying and funny, through the power of laughter. This clip is an excerpt of the long event. See what Funny Biz Speech Writer  and the power of funny can do for your next event, even if it has nothing to do with politics.  0 Comments OUR Southern Strategy..... 2/25/2016 0 Comments Funny Biz Writers was recently hired by an impressively connected and accomplished political writer / activist in a large Southern state to write a roast speech, aiming barbs at major elected city and state-wide politicians and, in some cases, nationally famous names, all of whom were to be in attendance. It was all in good fun, as the powerful movers and shakers in the room were not to be actually devastated and enraged by the very edgy, seemingly harsh put-downs, but they were to take it in the spirit of what it is- being honored and acknowledged by friends, as everyone in the large room is essentially on the same side. It was frankly fun to write this roast speech, which comprised many jokes framed within appropriately serious, explanatory setup elements that framed the razor-sharp zingers. It thrilled us to know that the targets of the jokes have sat in Governor's mansions and City Halls and, in some cases, The White House as trusted members of a presidential administration. But the point is that we love poring over the facts of ANY roast honoree's life, their accomplishments and background, their earliest life, and what they did last week- all to find an opportunity to write a punchline that will make audience members physically reel in their seats and involuntarily dribble a bit of chablis down their chins. Whether our client's roast honoree is a world famous figure or someone just famous within the thingamajig manufacturing plant of Anywheresville, Your State, we know that the roast jokes we write will be impactful and successful for our clients in THEIR world- be it blue collar, white collar, pink collar, no collar or priest collar. Every client's social and professional circle becomes the center of our universe and every roast event is an opportunity to fill a room with joy and laughter and win immeasurable goodwill and major points for our client. The sound of an audience exploding with hearty, uncontrollable laughter at an unexpected punchline is music to our ears- North, South, East or West. So take a piece of advice, y'all, from our new friend and client Down South- who emailed to tell us that his roast absolutely KILLED- and hire proven, professional comedy writers with a record of powerful results at Funny Biz Writers. Any other move might just be dumber 'n' dirt, or like chasin' a squirrel with a caterpillar net. Okay, we'll leave the colorful, old time expressions to our Southern friends!