Lawyers Love Us! (And so will you)

Here at Funny Biz Speechwriters we love our attorney clients! We've been lucky to have many lawyers as writing clients, and who doesn't love a lawyer?! Okay, well OUR lawyers have been charming, straightforward, honest and easy to work with (except for that ONE guy) and we've been thrilled to have the opportunity to make lawyers even more charming, human and FUNNY! Lawyers are trained in the use of language and often they are good talkers and good arguers. They can be persuasive and often they are good performers. But a person doesn't graduate from law school without the logical ability to deduce that even the best lawyer probably needs the best comedy writer, or more specifically comedic speech writer, in order to be as funny as he or she is adept at the law. That''s where we come in and Funny Biz Speech Writers has written funny speeches, roasts, jokes and comedic scripts for numerous attorneys from San Francisco to Washington DC, Chicago to Miami.

One lawyer client we had had to roast several renowned San Francisco movers and shakers who belonged to the same elite professional/fraternal membership club. His roast speech had a bit of a cigar smoke-filled, locker room feel as the atmosphere in that club could lean toward the "salty" and "ribald." As highly experienced joke writers, we were able to write some cutting, hard-hitting jokes that had sting but didn't completely cross the line.

Another attorney client was a veteran lawyer in the Carolinas, having to deliver a funny "this is your life" speech for another lawyer, a local distinguished leading light in her industry. Funny Biz speechwriters wrote her a quite respectable, more refined and polite but still hilarious this-is-your-life speech about the senior lawyer. Our client was so impressed with how it went that she came to Funny Biz Speech Writers months later and also referred a relative to us to write a speech for him.

And yet another, more recent attorney client is one of the top business litigation attorneys in Washington DC and she had to deliver a highly logical yet also comical and entertaining mock trial case about one of the central arguments in the Greek play Lysistrata. One of the judges on the mock trial bench was none other than a sitting Justice on the US Supreme Court (and there's only of 9 of 'em!). It was fun for us Funny Biz Writers reading and analyzing the Greek play and coming up with very sharp and funny (and astute) comments, arguments and jokes our client could use for her mock trial case. We learned a bit of ancient Greek literature and she got the high-level professional comedy writing that clients have come to expect with Funny Biz Speechwriters. And, of course, she won the trial. Justice may be blind, and the scales may tip both ways, but in the end, funny always wins!

Custom created novelty comedy videos will BLOW AWAY your event!

Here at Funny Biz Writers, we don't only write fantastic funny speeches, roasts, presentations and comedic scripts. We are ace comedy writers but we also do more than joke writing and funny speech writing. We custom create, start to finish, funny novelty video products. One of our most popular and easily usable and effective types of novelty video products is the "moving lips" celebrity video, as seen on Conan O'Brien's show.

Here's how it works: the client picks a celebrity or celebrities and tells us the event particulars, objective of the comedy, the audience members involved, the type and topic of jokes desired and so forth. We write an hilarious script of jokes to be spoken by these celebrities. The clients looks at the script draft and, after any desired revisions by us, okays the final draft of the joke script for go ahead. We get a funny still photo of each of said celebrities and then videotape our own top-shelf celebrity voice impersonators performing the script jokes in a an amazingly realistic simulation of each celebrity.

We have numerous professional Hollywood voice actors who can do fantastic, lifelike renditions of any of dozens of celebrities that you, our client, may want. Our video editing team then uses editing tricks to cut and paste our impersonator's lips over the celebrity's lips in the video, so that when the celebrity "speaks" the hilarious jokes, the lips move appropriately and effect is just ridiculously silly, comedic and disarming. People love it, everyone laughs hysterically and the effect is irresistibly fun and effective.

Here is an example of some recent novelty moving lips videos we created for a funny speech / roast client. We have condensed a few previously separate video items and combined them into a very short sampler. All of these celebrity lines were spoken to help our client roast a very prominent and accomplished doctor in Florida. It was all done in a spirit of honoring and poking fun at this eminent and respected medical expert in our client's same field.

Some of the political celebrities roasting this doctor/medical professor were Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and Donald Trump. Funny Biz Speech Writers can also offer you many NON-political celebrities, of course, such as Robert DeNiro, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Stewart, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Owen Wilson, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Rodney Dangerfield, Chris Rock, Robin Williams, Jeff Goldblum, Charlie Rose, Ted Koppel, Barbara Walters, Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Cosell, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Anthony Hopkins (as Hannibal Lecter), Sean Connery, Ozzy Osbourne, Snoop Dogg, Lucille Ball, Joan Rivers, Sarah Silverman, Tom Brokaw, Keanu Reeves and many others. Other political celebrity voices we offer are George W Bush, George Bush Sr, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Bernie Sanders, Jesse Jackson, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Ben Carson and many others- just ask!

Okay, we'll shut up now. Enjoy this brief video sample!

Real Roast Jokes, PT. I

Here at Funny Biz Writers, writing roasts and funny speeches is our bread and butter. Whether it's a speech for a birthday, wedding, anniversary, bar mitzvah or a work-related event like a meeting, conference, convention or awards ceremony, we constantly custom write jokes to our clients' specifications. Instead of just telling you about what we do, though, we thought we'd show you. So here is a short excerpt from one of our client roasts, this one for a wife roasting her husband on his birthday...

Tom knows nothing about pop culture. Absolutely nothing. He thinks One Direction is a traffic sign and True Blood is an iron supplement. 

He thinks he's a great cook but he's not. He once looked up the recipe for ice cubes. He thinks poaching an egg means shooting it while on safari. Tom was a serious hockey player in high school. He has the face to be a goalie. He was once timed to be the fastest skater, even beating various Boston Bruins. At the time he was skating down a waterfall. 

Tom is still pretty strong, recently he beat some college kids in arm wrestling. To be fair, those kids were on the Math Team. Tom leans conservative; he gets his news from The Drudge Report online. That's one step above getting your news from bumper stickers. 

Tom's favorite movie is Good Will Hunting and he can really relate to the title character- not because he's a misunderstood genius, but cause he's good at cleaning floors. Tom enjoys a cocktail on occasion- his favorite is a martini made with Grey Goose. That's his favorite vodka but he still doesn't understand how they get the goose in the bottle. 

Tom loves making boats, and he's built several. One customer complained that their boat filled up with water, so Tom charged him for a swimming pool. Tom's latest wacky hobby is roasting coffee. He roasts it strong and gives it to all our friends. He's not being generous, he just wants them to stay awake for his stories.

Real Roast Jokes, PT. II

                                                       

As per our previous post, here's some more actual samples of the customized funny speech and roast writing that we do for our clients, for all occasions, whether it be a birthday roast, wedding speech, bar mitzvah speech, or a roast/speech for any business, corporate or public event or occasion. Anyway, check out this roast sample courtesy of us here at Funny Biz Writers....


Louie's been talking for a long time about getting a pool done in his backyard. He doesn't want to actually swim in it- he just wants to fill it with money and jump in like Scrooge McDuck. But seriously, if Louie puts in a pool, he'll get subsidy funding... from Save The Wales. They've determined that the water is his natural habitat.

But seriously, I think a swimming pool would be a great thing for Louie. First of all, he could bet on his grandchildren when they swim laps. Second, when one of his “business associates” crosses him, they could accidentally and mysteriously drown. And third, when the cops finally come for Louie, he could float on a raft in the middle and claim its “offshore betting.” But Louie, just in case you do go ahead with the pool, I've already gotten you a couple of pool-warming presents. A life preserver made of lead. And suntan lotion that attracts bees.

It doesn't get much bigger than the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES

Very recently Funny Biz Writers got hired to write jokes for a current US presidential candidate. Not just any candidate, but one of the top polling candidates in the race. We were psyched to get the call. Okay, actually it was an email, but you get the idea. The candidate was about to appear on a major TV talk show and the political consulting company felt that this person should have some funny yet appropriate jokes in their back pocket for the appearance. 

Funny Biz Writers was perhaps just a teeny, tiny bit nervous, only because this was the first time we had written for someone who could conceivably be the PRESIDENT of the awesomest, most happening and freedomy nation on Earth. But we crunched the info, did our research and due diligence, put on our thinking caps (and socks, we like to keep the electrical stimulation coming from both ends) and we cranked out some great political and other general jokes- the consultant was very happy. He told us multiple times "Great jokes, guys! Very funny!" And then he disappeared into a rocket powered helicopter that took him to a secret presidential candidate lair somewhere under the ocean.  

The point is, if we can write appropriate, smart, original and funny jokes for a person vying for the most serious, high-pressure job on Earth, we can write great jokes for your situation. And whatever your situation, we promise you- using strategic humor in a speech, presentation, script or roast- or a custom novelty video- is the winningest idea you could ever have. Is winningest a real word? Yes it is, according to Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump.

Anyhow, even if this candidate doesn't win, Funny Biz Writers was happy to be able to inject some sharp humor into a political process that is so often mean, contentious and repetitive. And if this candidate DOES win, we're pretty sure we'll never have to pay another parking ticket again. 

Making Politics FUN... and FUNNY! 6/14/2016 0 Comments Recently, Funny Biz Writers custom wrote a political roast speech for a major political operative in a Southern state. In the event, held at a top, big city hotel, he and others roasted the ex-mayor, the ex-governor and the former Ambassador to the UN, among others. The crowd loved it and they turned politics- often something divisive and overly serious- into something fun, unifying and funny, through the power of laughter. This clip is an excerpt of the long event. See what Funny Biz Speech Writer  and the power of funny can do for your next event, even if it has nothing to do with politics.  0 Comments OUR Southern Strategy..... 2/25/2016 0 Comments Funny Biz Writers was recently hired by an impressively connected and accomplished political writer / activist in a large Southern state to write a roast speech, aiming barbs at major elected city and state-wide politicians and, in some cases, nationally famous names, all of whom were to be in attendance. It was all in good fun, as the powerful movers and shakers in the room were not to be actually devastated and enraged by the very edgy, seemingly harsh put-downs, but they were to take it in the spirit of what it is- being honored and acknowledged by friends, as everyone in the large room is essentially on the same side. It was frankly fun to write this roast speech, which comprised many jokes framed within appropriately serious, explanatory setup elements that framed the razor-sharp zingers. It thrilled us to know that the targets of the jokes have sat in Governor's mansions and City Halls and, in some cases, The White House as trusted members of a presidential administration. But the point is that we love poring over the facts of ANY roast honoree's life, their accomplishments and background, their earliest life, and what they did last week- all to find an opportunity to write a punchline that will make audience members physically reel in their seats and involuntarily dribble a bit of chablis down their chins. Whether our client's roast honoree is a world famous figure or someone just famous within the thingamajig manufacturing plant of Anywheresville, Your State, we know that the roast jokes we write will be impactful and successful for our clients in THEIR world- be it blue collar, white collar, pink collar, no collar or priest collar. Every client's social and professional circle becomes the center of our universe and every roast event is an opportunity to fill a room with joy and laughter and win immeasurable goodwill and major points for our client. The sound of an audience exploding with hearty, uncontrollable laughter at an unexpected punchline is music to our ears- North, South, East or West. So take a piece of advice, y'all, from our new friend and client Down South- who emailed to tell us that his roast absolutely KILLED- and hire proven, professional comedy writers with a record of powerful results at Funny Biz Writers. Any other move might just be dumber 'n' dirt, or like chasin' a squirrel with a caterpillar net. Okay, we'll leave the colorful, old time expressions to our Southern friends!