Jokes Per Minute. The Science of Speech-giving.

We here at Funny Biz Writers want to make your life easy. No, scratch that. We don't want to make your life easy, we want to make it fantastic. And the way that we will do that is by writing you a tight, killer, interesting, appropriate and very FUNNY speech, presentation or roast. Imagine yourself up on stage with a custom written, carefully crafted and personalized funny speech or roast, all about your various co-workers, associates, industry peers, customers, friends or family members. Now imagine sharp, unexpected laugh-out-loud jokes punctuating the factual setups, the kinds of punchlines you'd hear on HBO or Comedy Central. This is what can happen, what will happen, when you hire Funny Biz Writers and let us do the comedic driving, so to speak. We'll make you a deal- we research and custom-write the hilarious speech or roast and then you deliver it, soaking in the laughter and applause while simultaneously accepting a job promotion at work. It's a tough gig, but someone's gotta' do it!     

"Serious, serious, oh our work is so terribly serious!"

If you think that your line of work or business is too "serious" or "straight-laced" to use a comedic writing service, boy have we got some news for you! It is often the more serious and highly technical fields, the ones whose capabilities and results must be impeccable, that use well-placed humor to great effect. Here at Funny Biz Writers we have had quite a few top professionals in the medical field as clients. Perhaps they recognize the need to tickle the funny bone. Perhaps they know that laughter is the best medicine. Perhaps they understand the limitation of complex carboethylchloride and lower inside femoral tendons when it comes to keeping an audience stimulated and enjoying themselves. Even other doctors love some mirth and frivolity mixed in with their medical business!!

A recent client of ours is one of the top OMFS's in the country. What's an OMFS? Clear any kids away from the area before we reveal because the acronym's full of really dirty swear words. Okay, not really. It stands for Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon. These guys do surgery on and otherwise take care of the head, face and mouth region. Our client was leading a roast, presentation and retrospective all in honor of an esteemed veteran OMFS who was a med school professor of many of those in attendance and a real mentor for many in the field.

In front of hundreds of esteemed head and face doctors our client wanted to deliver a this-is-your-life roast speech and punctuate it with hilarious visual cues in a PowerPoint presentation- in the style of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update or almost any late night TV comedy show.   He also wanted to add actual video segments of political celebrities "speaking to" the grand doctor of the hour and cutting him down to size with hilarious one-liners relevant to his personality and life's achievements.

​Funny Biz Writers not only created a fantastic 100% customized, personalized roast speech, a "this is your life" full of both real historic landmarks and edgy, intelligent but still PG-13 clean jokes, but we also created custom novelty "moving lips" videos, like those seen on Conan's late night show, in which our professional voice impersonators had Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama saying some very funny- and specifically appropriate things about the good doctor. This in addition to the manipulated graphics where Funny Biz Writers' expert graphic artists took various photos of real people, random people and celebrities and created very funny visual punchlines to accompany the roast speech.

Have you ever seen a room full of head, face and mouth doctors, bent over, nearly coughing up a lung, their own mouths wide open from uproarious hysterical laughter? It almost makes you want to call in another specialist to make sure these guys are okay.

If your medical office or hospital or association of specialists or convention of practitioners is gathering for a group event- whether it's as light as the Christmas party or as heavy as a symposium to cure a serious disease- make the entire proceedings more effective by using professional, proven funny speech writers who will custom create a funny roast speech or funny speech of any sort, and will also create novelty moving lips videos with the celebrities of your choice, as well as funny manipulated graphic slides, telling a punchline with a visual.

Ask to see some Funny Biz Writers' work, we're confident you'll see that our product more than backs up everything we say about our roasts, funny speeches, funny presentations, novelty funny videos and so forth. We would never deign to try to do our own surgery or complex medical procedures, just as smart doctors have come to us for outstanding funny speech writing and comedy / humor for meetings, parties, conventions, or any sort of event.

Doctors usually have people saying "ahhh." We get them saying "ha ha ha."                       

Sometimes a Speech can be Inspirational AND Funny!

"The surest way to a person's soul is through their funny bone." You know who said that? I did! Just now. A great and serious inspirational speech can actually be not very serious at all. Yet somehow the deep importance of the message is amplified and made more powerful by use of humor and the humor is made stronger by its juxtaposition next to deadly serious content and issues of great importance. For an offbeat example of this, look at the very funny but very effective and heartfelt speech by the character Bluto (John Belushi) in the classic film 'Animal House.' Now you may not be Bluto and you may not live in an animal house or hang out with animals, but next time you need to speak at an important event you can hire a proven comedy speech writer and deliver a funny (yet serious) speech that make your audience fall off their chairs (unless their already sitting on the floor. In which case they may just roll around) Enjoy this clip of one of the most powerful and funny speeches in movie history!

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A Classic Funny (Duo) Wedding Speech from one of our Favorite Movies!

We write real funny wedding speeches but we couldn't resist posting this fictional engagement wedding speech, one of the funniest in history, found in the hilarious classic comedy 'Bridesmaids'. This scene perfectly captures the brilliant comedy that comes out of real life situations, with Kristen Wiig's and Rose Byrne's characters competing to be the "real" maid of honor, trying to outdo each other as the bride's true best friend. You can't count on such hilarious happenings to break out at your next wedding or event, but you can hire a great professional comedy speech writer to create scripted humor just as funny so that your audience has the time of their life. Enjoy the clip!

Lawyers Love Us! (And so will you)

Here at Funny Biz Speechwriters we love our attorney clients! We've been lucky to have many lawyers as writing clients, and who doesn't love a lawyer?! Okay, well OUR lawyers have been charming, straightforward, honest and easy to work with (except for that ONE guy) and we've been thrilled to have the opportunity to make lawyers even more charming, human and FUNNY! Lawyers are trained in the use of language and often they are good talkers and good arguers. They can be persuasive and often they are good performers. But a person doesn't graduate from law school without the logical ability to deduce that even the best lawyer probably needs the best comedy writer, or more specifically comedic speech writer, in order to be as funny as he or she is adept at the law. That''s where we come in and Funny Biz Speech Writers has written funny speeches, roasts, jokes and comedic scripts for numerous attorneys from San Francisco to Washington DC, Chicago to Miami.

One lawyer client we had had to roast several renowned San Francisco movers and shakers who belonged to the same elite professional/fraternal membership club. His roast speech had a bit of a cigar smoke-filled, locker room feel as the atmosphere in that club could lean toward the "salty" and "ribald." As highly experienced joke writers, we were able to write some cutting, hard-hitting jokes that had sting but didn't completely cross the line.

Another attorney client was a veteran lawyer in the Carolinas, having to deliver a funny "this is your life" speech for another lawyer, a local distinguished leading light in her industry. Funny Biz speechwriters wrote her a quite respectable, more refined and polite but still hilarious this-is-your-life speech about the senior lawyer. Our client was so impressed with how it went that she came to Funny Biz Speech Writers months later and also referred a relative to us to write a speech for him.

And yet another, more recent attorney client is one of the top business litigation attorneys in Washington DC and she had to deliver a highly logical yet also comical and entertaining mock trial case about one of the central arguments in the Greek play Lysistrata. One of the judges on the mock trial bench was none other than a sitting Justice on the US Supreme Court (and there's only of 9 of 'em!). It was fun for us Funny Biz Writers reading and analyzing the Greek play and coming up with very sharp and funny (and astute) comments, arguments and jokes our client could use for her mock trial case. We learned a bit of ancient Greek literature and she got the high-level professional comedy writing that clients have come to expect with Funny Biz Speechwriters. And, of course, she won the trial. Justice may be blind, and the scales may tip both ways, but in the end, funny always wins!

Custom created novelty comedy videos will BLOW AWAY your event!

Here at Funny Biz Writers, we don't only write fantastic funny speeches, roasts, presentations and comedic scripts. We are ace comedy writers but we also do more than joke writing and funny speech writing. We custom create, start to finish, funny novelty video products. One of our most popular and easily usable and effective types of novelty video products is the "moving lips" celebrity video, as seen on Conan O'Brien's show.

Here's how it works: the client picks a celebrity or celebrities and tells us the event particulars, objective of the comedy, the audience members involved, the type and topic of jokes desired and so forth. We write an hilarious script of jokes to be spoken by these celebrities. The clients looks at the script draft and, after any desired revisions by us, okays the final draft of the joke script for go ahead. We get a funny still photo of each of said celebrities and then videotape our own top-shelf celebrity voice impersonators performing the script jokes in a an amazingly realistic simulation of each celebrity.

We have numerous professional Hollywood voice actors who can do fantastic, lifelike renditions of any of dozens of celebrities that you, our client, may want. Our video editing team then uses editing tricks to cut and paste our impersonator's lips over the celebrity's lips in the video, so that when the celebrity "speaks" the hilarious jokes, the lips move appropriately and effect is just ridiculously silly, comedic and disarming. People love it, everyone laughs hysterically and the effect is irresistibly fun and effective.

Here is an example of some recent novelty moving lips videos we created for a funny speech / roast client. We have condensed a few previously separate video items and combined them into a very short sampler. All of these celebrity lines were spoken to help our client roast a very prominent and accomplished doctor in Florida. It was all done in a spirit of honoring and poking fun at this eminent and respected medical expert in our client's same field.

Some of the political celebrities roasting this doctor/medical professor were Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and Donald Trump. Funny Biz Speech Writers can also offer you many NON-political celebrities, of course, such as Robert DeNiro, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Stewart, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Owen Wilson, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Rodney Dangerfield, Chris Rock, Robin Williams, Jeff Goldblum, Charlie Rose, Ted Koppel, Barbara Walters, Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Cosell, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Anthony Hopkins (as Hannibal Lecter), Sean Connery, Ozzy Osbourne, Snoop Dogg, Lucille Ball, Joan Rivers, Sarah Silverman, Tom Brokaw, Keanu Reeves and many others. Other political celebrity voices we offer are George W Bush, George Bush Sr, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Bernie Sanders, Jesse Jackson, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Ben Carson and many others- just ask!

Okay, we'll shut up now. Enjoy this brief video sample!

Real Roast Jokes, PT. I

Here at Funny Biz Writers, writing roasts and funny speeches is our bread and butter. Whether it's a speech for a birthday, wedding, anniversary, bar mitzvah or a work-related event like a meeting, conference, convention or awards ceremony, we constantly custom write jokes to our clients' specifications. Instead of just telling you about what we do, though, we thought we'd show you. So here is a short excerpt from one of our client roasts, this one for a wife roasting her husband on his birthday...

Tom knows nothing about pop culture. Absolutely nothing. He thinks One Direction is a traffic sign and True Blood is an iron supplement. 

He thinks he's a great cook but he's not. He once looked up the recipe for ice cubes. He thinks poaching an egg means shooting it while on safari. Tom was a serious hockey player in high school. He has the face to be a goalie. He was once timed to be the fastest skater, even beating various Boston Bruins. At the time he was skating down a waterfall. 

Tom is still pretty strong, recently he beat some college kids in arm wrestling. To be fair, those kids were on the Math Team. Tom leans conservative; he gets his news from The Drudge Report online. That's one step above getting your news from bumper stickers. 

Tom's favorite movie is Good Will Hunting and he can really relate to the title character- not because he's a misunderstood genius, but cause he's good at cleaning floors. Tom enjoys a cocktail on occasion- his favorite is a martini made with Grey Goose. That's his favorite vodka but he still doesn't understand how they get the goose in the bottle. 

Tom loves making boats, and he's built several. One customer complained that their boat filled up with water, so Tom charged him for a swimming pool. Tom's latest wacky hobby is roasting coffee. He roasts it strong and gives it to all our friends. He's not being generous, he just wants them to stay awake for his stories.