Is it a Roast or a Funny Speech?

When it comes to an event speech for a wedding, birthday, anniversary, retirement or other major life event- a lot of people decide, wisely, that they want to use effective, good-natured humor in their speech. Using humor in almost any situation- whether it be a private event, a business or corporate setting, or a public service or political context- makes the listeners far more engaged, interested and sympathetic to the message and the speaker his or herself. They become more likable and charismatic when successful, effective humor- or comedy- is used. 

Some people eagerly use the word "roast" for what they'd like to deliver, in spoken words honoring the person or persons around whom the event is planned. For these folks, a roast is not a thing to be feared or dismissed as too crude or scary, but is an occasion for maximum enjoyment, laughs and celebrating the quirks and outstanding anecdotes of a friend or loved one.

For others, however, the word "roast" brings thoughts and images of a vicious, out-of-bounds, verbal attack-fest, in the style of those seen late at night on Comedy Central, with "jokes" so scandalously harsh that one is amazed they can be said on TV at all. 

In reality, however, most private event roasts are more about good-natured fun and gently poking the honoree about some of their individual traits, quirks, biographical bullet points and notable anecdotes than it is about making those in the audience gasp or fall over red-faced in utter disbelief.

Many roast jokes at a wedding, birthday, anniversary, retirement or other life event party can be about relatively benign aspects of a person's life and a lot of such jokes are actually about a person's strengths, not their weaknesses. One might make a playful joke referring to how the honoree is an amazing skier, a genius level chemistry student, or is ultra responsible about work and other obligations. Even jokes about weaknesses are more silly and absurd than they are actually mean or intended to cause harm.

There is an old saying "People roast the ones they love," which brings out the truth that to be put in the spotlight and joked about is almost always a far more inclusive and warm act than to be left alone and not commented on. While being on the receiving end of a good-natured and loving roast may be out of some people's comfort zone, for most honorees of this time honored, highly personalized and hilarious, it is understood as a sign of belonging and a testament to the fact that one is not boring and forgettable. 

And when an honoree and an audience are on board for a well written roast, the opportunity for genuine- and sometimes raucous- laughter, joy and appreciation is nearly limitless.